You are mentally strong, but toxic people seem to surround you.
Does Auntie T always come over with a complaint about her neighbors? Does Uncle V show off a new Rolex every time you visit him? You may wonder why such individuals seem to surround you.
Avoiding toxic people is not always possible, especially when they are relatives or colleagues. You can distance yourself from them, but what if they insist on your company?
Here are a few reasons they are always around you. It may surprise you to find that they have a lot to do with you.
5 Reasons Mentally Strong People Attract Toxic People
Though you are a resilient personality, you may not realize that you are inviting toxic people into your life. You may draw them because of your positive qualities. Never forgo these traits; just know that they may attract people you should avoid.
1. You have excellent listening skills
First of all, your listening skills may backfire on you. It is hard to find someone who will listen to your problems because technology shortens attention spans. If you are willing to give a listening ear, you will find toxic people coming to offload their problems to you.
2. You are an open book
Next, mentally strong people are honest. Do you find yourself sharing the details of your life freely? If you are an open book, people are going to come and read you. While this is a merit, it does have that downside. Toxic people will surround you because of your straightforward nature.
3. You are generous with your time
And then, you may spend a little too much time listening to complaints. While being there for others is commendable, it will make you a draw for toxic people. They will take advantage of you because they know that you are always there for them.
4. You are laid back
Everyone will surround you if you love to crack jokes and just relax. This quality makes you a magnet for people, including the toxic ones. You have an easygoing nature, so they will try to manipulate you.
5. You have a positive worldview
Human nature is innately positive, and you may believe this with a passion. However, this does not describe everyone. You may become a toxic dumping ground because of your belief in the best in people.
Types of Toxic People Mentally Strong People Should Cut Off
All sorts of people make the world. Not all of them will keep you mentally strong, so you will want to avoid them. Here are a few characters that you should cross off your list of friends.
1. The Superficial Thinker
First of all, is the shallow thinker. These people chat incessantly about their favorite movie stars and when their idols are coming to town. You will also find them gossiping about others.
You will discover that it is hard for them to discuss issues that matter. It is wise to surround yourself with friends who can discuss thought-provoking subjects.
2. The Apathetic Sloth
Do you have a friend who is interested in nothing? Is he too lazy to join you in activities? While he is an otherwise nice fellow, you may not want to draw him too close to you. You will become complacent yourself because it is so hard to push him forward.
3. The Boastful Beast
Next is the person who loves to prove his worth. While he may have something to show off, this quality is annoying because it takes attention away from the achievements of others. He may impress, but his ‘wow’ factor lasts a short time. People come to realize how he puts them down.
4. The Cynic
This relative or friend raises his eyebrows whenever you share your dreams and aspirations with him. He is the first to say ‘That will never work out,’ and sees your positive attitude as unrealistic. While keeping your head on the ground is a good trait, being told that you cannot do anything stops you from going anywhere.
5. The War Monger
Lastly, you may have a friend who is a pseudo-Genghis Khan. He expects you to take his side in every conflict, no matter if he is right. He obsesses with every quarrel and keeps mentioning it. This friend will ostracize you because you do not take his side.
The War Monger is hot-headed and refuses to acknowledge his faults. He has an unreasonable, negative personality that is hard to manage, so avoid being drawn into his battles.
How to Break Away from Toxic People
Often, people are toxic because they have suffered trauma or met stressful situations in their lives. Though they need support, their behavior is toxic, so you must protect yourself from it.
First of all, prepare yourself for talking to a toxic person. Do not spend more time with him than necessary and avoid sharing personal information because he may use it against you.
Next, sympathize with him if you know that he is going through a difficult time. While you may acknowledge his circumstances, do not let him use them as excuses to become abusive.
And then, a toxic person loves a pity party. He enjoys sending people on guilt trips. Recognize his need for empathy, but do not let him upset you. Remember that his behavior, though understandable, is not acceptable.
Lastly, set boundaries. Realize when a toxic person is infringing upon you, and let him know that has.
In all, being mentally strong may make you center for toxic people, but awareness and a few strategies will help you manage them.
All so true! I have strangers come up to me and tell me their troubles! :O
Thank you, Cheryl Lynn!
If you strong mentally person read this please seek a person who has equal strong mentally person just like you as your partner or friend. Trust me you don’t want to find the weak one. Don’t even try to help them, they don’t want any help. They just want to drag you down and make you just like them.
Yes indeed, Daniel.
In my experience with toxic persons they have had a very different cognitive developmental experience. Their reality is not healthy for them…or me. Very strong boundaries are foundational and missing in health and toxic relationships. The toxic will spend time harvesting this defect.
Very accurate description and good advice. Thank you!
Ah! That a simple untutored old bloke could find the words to modify the thinking expressed in this article. The whole person will grow in stature when exposed to these unfortunate traits of being human. I give the example of immunization and the use of anti-biotics etc for the maintenance of life as against the unaided development of the human race into a resistive species. In the first instance we become aliens to our environment, maintained artificially against nature. In the second, those who survive move naturally with the environment and become even stronger and more resilient. So it is with the mind. Move with those who you walk with or pass by in life, greet them in the passing and cherish them, warts and all, when they spend time in your sphere. In that way you prove your strength and continue to gain in wisdaom. I feel that I do not adequately treat this question but I needed to try.
I generally find people unpleasant. Everyone it seems fits one or more of these descriptions. Are there people who aren’t like this?? I haven’t met them. I also might fit the description because i have a chronic illness so every day is hellish for me. So i keep to myself and realize i can ne er have friends.
How can i reach you for a question that has to do with toxic people discreetly without exposing who i am or who I’m talking about as they are very well know, based on the situation I’m in specifically?
Thank you 🌸
Drastic oversimplification. Everyone is on a spectrum of ‘toxicity’. There are no completely mentally strong or toxic people, and the variance between them can change on a daily basis.
Wow! I find my step-daughter to be the war monger type for sure. She takes no responsibility for her actions. She also projects what seems like everything onto others. She has a negative personality and wants me to take her side even though she is wrong. Almost everything she says is a lie, even small things. She sucks the life out of me. If she can see accomplishments I have made she will start talking more negatively to where it is impossible to enjoy them. I am so sick of her! She is 32 years old. Grow up please.