You are mentally strong, but toxic people seem to surround you.
Does Auntie T always come over with a complaint about her neighbors? Does Uncle V show off a new Rolex every time you visit him?
You may wonder why such individuals seem to surround you.
Avoiding toxic people is not always possible, especially when they are relatives or colleagues. You can distance yourself from them, but what if they insist on your company?
Here are a few reasons they are always around you. It may surprise you to find that they have a lot to do with you.
5 Reasons Mentally Strong People Attract Toxic People
Though you are a resilient personality, you may not realize that you are inviting toxic people into your life. You may draw them because of your positive qualities. Never forgo these traits; just know that they may attract people you should avoid.
1. You have excellent listening skills
First of all, your listening skills may backfire on you. It is hard to find someone who will listen to your problems because technology shortens attention spans. If you are willing to give a listening ear, you will find toxic people coming to offload their problems on you.
2. You are an open book.
Next, mentally strong people are honest. Do you find yourself sharing the details of your life freely? If you are an open book, people are going to come and read you. While this is a merit, it does have that downside. Toxic people will surround you because of your straightforward nature.
3. You are generous with your time.
And then, you may spend a little too much time listening to complaints. While being there for others is commendable, it will make you a draw for toxic people. They will take advantage of you because they know that you are always there for them.
4. You are laid back
Everyone will surround you if you love to crack jokes and just relax. This quality makes you a magnet for people, including the toxic ones. You have an easygoing nature, so they will try to manipulate you.
5. You have a positive world view
Human nature is innately positive, and you may believe this with a passion. However, this does not describe everyone. You may become a toxic dumping ground because of your belief in the best in people.
Types of Toxic People Mentally Strong People Cut Off
All sorts of people make a world. Not all of them will keep you mentally strong, so you will want to avoid them. Here are a few characters that you should cross off your list of friends.
1. The Superficial Thinker
First of all is the shallow thinker. These people chat incessantly about their favorite movie stars and when their idols are coming to town. You will also find them gossiping about others. You will discover that it is hard for them to discuss issues that matter. It is wise to surround yourself with friends who can discuss thought-provoking subjects.
2. The Apathetic Sloth
Do you have a friend who is interested in nothing? Is he too lazy to join you in activities?
While he is an otherwise nice fellow, you may not want to draw him too close to you. You will become complacent yourself because it is so hard to push him forward.
3. The Boastful Beast
Next is the person who loves to prove his worth. While he may have something to show off, this quality is annoying because it takes attention away from the achievements of others. He may impress, but his ‘wow’ factor lasts a short time. People come to realize how he puts them down.
4. The Cynic
This relative or friend raises his eyebrows whenever you share your dreams and aspirations with him. He is the first to say ‘That will never work out,’ and sees your positive attitude as unrealistic.
While keeping your head on the ground is a good trait, being told that you cannot do anything stops you from going anywhere.
5. The War Monger
Lastly, you may have a friend who is a pseudo- Genghis Khan. He expects you to take his side in every conflict, no matter if he is right. He obsesses with every quarrel and keeps mentioning it. This friend will ostracize you because you do not take his side.
The War Monger is hot-headed and refuses to acknowledge his faults. He has an unreasonable, negative personality that is hard to manage, so avoid being drawn into his battles.
How to Break Away from Toxic People
Often, people are toxic because they have suffered trauma or met stressful situations in their lives. Though they need support, their behavior is toxic, so you must protect yourself from it.
First of all, prepare yourself before talking to a toxic person. Do not spend more time with him than necessary and avoid sharing personal information because he may use it against you.
Next, sympathize with him if you know that he is going through a difficult time. While you may acknowledge his circumstances, do not let him use them as excuses to become abusive.
And then, a toxic person loves a pity party. He enjoys sending people on guilt trips. Recognize his need for empathy, but do not let him upset you. Remember that his behavior, though understandable, is not acceptable.
Lastly, set boundaries. Realize when a toxic person is infringing upon you, and let him know that has.
In all, being mentally strong may make you center for toxic people, but awareness and a few strategies will help you manage them.
By Michelle L.
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