People say that if you love yourself first, others will love you too. Is it true? Does self-love really lead to being loved by others?
Most of us already know the importance of self-worth – how it shapes our lives and takes us to great heights. But, when it comes to love, we tend to let go of our esteem, and blatantly expect others to reciprocate our love. But the truth is that you need to learn to love yourself first, and when you fail to understand that, this can have devastating effects on your life.
Psychology has answers, though. Various research groups around the world have studied the nature of love (in general) and have theorized that an individual has more chances of finding true love, being loved and respected by fellow men and women, and most importantly, accept love from others the way they show it when they love themselves.
There are many more reasons why I believe that when you learn to love yourself first, it eventually leads to being loved (more) by others, and here are few top reasons that have personally helped me. You can try these out as a practical exercise and see the change for yourself.
Reasons Why Self-Love is Essential
Author Sonya Friedman once said, “The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.” It is the single best mantra to live by in this digital age. For more reasons, read on…
The Way You Treat Yourself
According to psychological studies, the way you treat yourself shows others – your near and dear ones, your friends and colleagues, your potential partners – how you want to be treated.
Human beings have a fantastic ability to perceive the nature of fellow human beings and mimic it in order to establish a relationship. So, the point is to take good care of yourself and wait for the perfect moment to happen.
Deep Love Always Comes from Within
You don’t have to be a Master of Psychology to understand that deep love comes from within. Genuine and tender love that evokes a sense of attachment and sympathy in another person can only be brought about by a mellow heart.
Your inner self must be capable of validating the tiny things that constitute love: that you are beautiful, that you are capable of loving, and that you live in the present.
The first time you fall in love with someone is when you discover the true meaning of deep love. You will realize that you are more powerful than you were before, and are ready to embrace it with full force.
You Choose How You Want to be Loved
It may be easier for the older generation to handle and cope with rejection and feeble love, but the youth – school and college students – are often the most affected. They are having the hardest time dealing with matters of love.
A lot of teenagers complain of unrequited love from their fellow peers and friends. Yet they do not understand that it is for their own good that things are not working out. For an individual, it is important to be wary of infatuation and casual love, which cannot be considered true love. In today’s world of casual relationships, it is up to you to lay out the parameters.
If you are in a relationship that is moving without a direction, you should introspect and find out the root cause. If it is because of your partner, then it’s time to revisit and reassess your relationship. Staying in a bad relationship is neither healthy nor peaceful.
How Does Self-Love Help?
When you have managed to be in control of your feelings and passions, learn to love yourself first and respect yourself no matter what, and are free from overthinking and worry, you begin to trust your instincts.
You are fearless when you go out with someone and are courageous enough to talk from your heart. Your partner will realize, and hopefully adore your fearlessness, and that is what makes self-love so important.
It helps you forge better relationships with the people close to you.
Self-love may be hard to achieve if your mind is already wired to focus on external stimuli. But, anyone can master it and find themselves being loved by others the way they want.
Author Bio: Kerrie Haynes is a final year student at the University of Oxford. She is a young journalist and likes to write about kids and education as it is one of the important things in life.