It’s not always easy learning how to deal with people, especially those you don’t particularly like. It’s even harder to deal with the ones you despise. There is, however, an intelligent way.
To be honest, there aren’t many people I despise. There are some that I don’t like, but few. More people dislike me, I believe, and I assume it’s because I’m difficult to understand, but that’s okay by me.
So, considering I do experience dislike for others at times, I have to learn to treat them in an intelligent manner. After all, learning to deal with the people you don’t like is harder than it seems.
Anger Vs. Intelligence
In some instances, you find your dislike for others at the tip of anger. When this happens, finding the ways to deal with people in the right way is often ignored. Outbursts and insults are common angry ways of dealing with people you don’t like, but they are not healthy ways.
You’re going to want to deal with these things and people in emotionally intelligent ways.
Keep emotions in check
The last thing you want to do, as I said, is to react in emotional ways. Sometimes the person you do not like also does not like you. They sometimes will do things to cause you to react in a negative manner. You will see this in the way they word things when talking to you.
Beware and learn effectively how to deal with people like this. Practice letting the negative feelings flow through you and accepting them without retaliation. It gets easier over time.
Acceptance
There will always be someone who sees life totally different than you do. They may even do things that make you cringe. The curious thing is, these characteristics that you don’t like may be favorable to others. If you discover that you don’t like someone, then it’s best to accept the fact.
What’s more, you should accept the person as well. It’s okay to dislike someone as long as you don’t take negative action to prove it.
What bothers you?
One way to use intelligence when dealing with someone you don’t like is to find out what turns you against them. There is something there, whether you believe it or not. Although you might say that you have no idea why you don’t like a certain person, there is a reason.
Is could be the way they laugh, their political views, or it could just be the words they use? When you realize what makes you dislike them, it will be easier to accept your dislike and move on.
Focus on the benefits
The good part about being around someone you don’t like is finding their positive aspects. If you stick around and weather the unattractive parts, you will begin to see things that make the person “redeemable”.
There is always something good no matter how much bad you can see. It just takes the will and patience to find these aspects.
Be an observer
Instead of falling into conversation with everyone you meet, try being an observer. Watch how people act and react to certain topics or situations.
You will see things that you don’t like, but if you continue to watch from afar, you will see the humanity in even the worst people. It’s intelligent to wait and watch before jumping head-first into the social scene.
Learn
Sometimes when you dislike someone, you are only disliking something that lurks deep within yourself. I know this is hard to admit, but I have found it to be true about myself.
Most of the people who’ve seemed unlikeable in my life were only displaying something that I do to others myself. When you realize these things, you will see these people in a whole new light.
You will see them as wounded instead of unattractive. Keep in mind, as much as you know that you are a good person, others know this about themselves as well. We all struggle.
Be kind
And lastly, be kind. Always be good to people, even when you don’t want to or don’t have to. You never know how your positive words will affect someone.
Maybe those people who you don’t like are just negative and going through traumatic times in their lives which make them less than savory. You never really know.
The truth is…
There will always be someone you do not like or someone who does not like you. Guess what! That is perfectly okay and normal. You cannot go through life thinking that everyone should get along with everyone else or that we should all be friends. This will not happen.
The best thing to do is to take what you can from any given situation and grow from that. Although you might not like someone, there are others out there who will.
Just remember, as long as you have peace in your heart and use kindness and love, it’s okay to dislike someone. It really is!
References:
I read a quote once that goes something like.. “When anyone bothers you in some way, it means that their soul is trying to ‘make peace’ with yours.. ” .. doesn’t go much further than that but it’s something to think about. Intelligent people would just let your ‘souls’ battle it out and be nice in the meantime.. ?
I guess I avoid many people and situations. Sometimes being nice is easy and at other times it’s almost impossible. I guess it depends on the situation.