Before you learn how to deal with jealous friends, you must become acquainted with the green-eyed monster. He’s not a fictional character!
Boy, am I jealous! I must admit, and I must not write this post from an objective standpoint.
Just like with my other pieces, I must share what I know from either an antagonist or protagonist point of view. This time, I am the green-eyed monster that loses control with my emotions, but I’m not the only one.
If you want to know how to deal with jealous friends like me, then listen up! You must first know how to spot them! After all, not all of them will admit their jealousy until damage has already been done.
Green-eyed monsters you call friends
A little jealousy is okay, I understand that, and yes, I’m working on getting better in case you’re concerned. But too much jealousy can destroy relationships, even friendships.
There are ways you can discover whether your friends are jealous, and there are ways to learn how to deal with jealous friends as well. Here are a few signs.
Okay, I guess it’s probably obvious that your friends are jealous when they are negative most of the time. For instance, when you talk about your promotion or your new boyfriend, do they immediately start going on a negative rant?
Yeah, that’s a big indicator. These same friends will also try to downplay every positive thing that happens to you. They just cannot get over good things happening for others.
This one is interesting because it works as an indicator of jealousy and also as the root of jealousy. If your friend is insecure about how they look or their personality traits, they will most likely be jealous of the positive qualities that they see in you as well.
Obsessed with status
Friends who are obsessed with status are more than likely jealous friends. They thrive on selfies and posts on social media, they frequent parties, and they are also passionate about being connected to wealth.
If you show any indication that you are increasing in your own status rank, they will push to excel in this area even more. These are the guys who are always bragging about their latest achievements and talking about the popular people they know.
Lack of support
A jealous friend will not be supportive of things you’re going through. Unfortunately, they secretly want to see you fail. Yes, you heard that right. When someone is jealous of you, they will not take steps to see you get better or climb the ladder of success.
In fact, they even sabotage some things in order for you to continuously need them….and yet, they still cannot be there for you.
Some jealous friends will start fights to draw attention to their supposed intellect. For instance, if you talk about someone you know who is a celebrity, your friend may argue with you until you appear incredible.
If arguments are placed just right, this friend can make you look as if you are lying and shine a spotlight on themselves, making it seem like they are just setting the record straight.
Sometimes it appears as though these friends are busting you out of a lie. When in truth, you are being 100% honest about your acquaintances. It’s frustrating to have to prove yourself for no good reason.
If you get an award, be assured that your jealous friend will not rest until they have won an even larger competition or sport. This is because jealous friends must always be on top.
Going back to insecurity, this is probably because they are deathly afraid that someone might like you more than them.
No matter what you do or what you accomplish, a jealous friend will want to be more, do more and prove themselves 10 times more than you have. Please don’t decide to try and beat them at their game. You will be exhausted.
Also, one way to tell if your friend is jealous is the way they hold back compliments. Now, I don’t mean that people are supposed to constantly compliment one another, but come on, a friend should tell the other when they are looking especially nice in a new dress or hairstyle, right?
Well, a jealous friend won’t do that because that means they will feel bad about themselves. It’s just how that works.
Now that you know them, let’s deal with them the right way!
Things will never improve between you and your jealous friend unless you find a way to deal with this. There are a few tactics that may just change this unhealthy relationship and help you build better memories of each other. Here are a few ways.
First off, you must confront this green-eyed monster living within your friend. Maybe she thinks you don’t know what she’s doing and this is why she continues.
But if you could only tell her how you feel and how her jealousy is halting your growth as friends, maybe she would try to be better at the relationship. It’s a start!
Now that you have confronted the situation, help your friend. You may not know exactly what to do, but open communication will reveal his weak points. When you understand the weaknesses, you can work together to strengthen your bond and eliminate those weaknesses.
Always be willing to compliment him, reassure him, and take part in things he wants to do. If you cancel lots of plans with your friend, try to get more involved and decrease those cancellations, as not being with them sometimes increases insecurities.
Even if you compromise to help your friend, don’t change who you are. Part of dealing with a jealous friend is helping them come to terms with your strengths as well.
You don’t have to eliminate things you enjoy to make your friend feel more comfortable, on the contrary. Instead, encourage them to reach for their dreams and ensure them that you will be just as supportive of them as well.
The last resort….ending friendships
I don’t advocate ending friendships. If at all possible, you should try to make it work. However, if your friend is not willing to be kind and considerate, then you may have to move on.
Sometimes jealous friends can cause problems for you, and in worse case scenarios, destroy your life. Be careful and make wise decisions in this area because one thing is for certain.
This is your life and it’s up to you to be successful!
By Sherrie H.
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