Learning how to break up with someone you love can be a difficult task. It’s never easy to leave who you thought was your soul mate.
I’ve been in many relationships, and I’ve been dumped and I’ve done the dumping. It’s never easy either way. In fact, one time when I broke up with a guy, I cried and he didn’t. How strange, huh? Well, I think the hardest thing to do is learn how to break up with someone you love, someone who you once thought would be there forever. This is incredibly difficult.
Steps to make the break up easier
There are ways to learn how to break up with someone you love, just like when leaving someone you despise. Although it might be a bit easier just to cold dump a jerk, it still takes guts. On another level, the one you loved will make your heart break when breaking up, but here’s how to do it the correct way.
1. Prepare Yourself
You must first prepare yourself for the consequences of the breakup. No matter how uneventful it may seem, you could suffer from the actions you take. Before you make the decision, you have to make peace with the fact that you may never be able to be with them again.
You might not even be able to remain friends at least for a while. If you find you’ve made a mistake, you might not get the chance to take it back. Just be sure.
2. Understand the Reasons
You must also take the time to understand why you wish to break up. Don’t break up for petty reasons or just because you are mad. Also, don’t deny the breakup just because you are afraid of being alone. This works both ways. You must have a stable mind when making this decision.
It takes thorough meditation and thought before coming to the conclusion of a breakup. Learning how to break up with someone you love should not be based on rash decisions.
3. Making Arrangements
If you don’t live together, then there will be few arrangements to be made. If you do, however, then you will have to decide who stays and who leaves. In the meantime, the one who stays will temporarily need to stay with a friend or family member until the other moves out.
If you work together or attend school at the same institution, this will be another concern. Are you able to remain in the presence of your ex? If not, you might want to consider a solution to this problem as well.
4. Breaking the news
Never break up by text, in front of people, or if your partner is going through a temporary traumatic situation like a death. Try to be considerate and do for them what you would want to be done to you. Also, don’t be harsh and short.
Try to explain your needs to yourself and whatever other issues you feel is important to convey. Breaking the news will not be simple, I stress again, but you can make it better with kindness.
5. The Aftershock
After the breakup, it’s usually best to stay away from each other. After some time, when you think things have settled, you can be friends. Just make sure you don’t send mixed signals in the process.
How do you know when it’s time to leave the one you love?
You will know when a breakup is imminent, most of the time. But if you don’t there are a few signs you can look out for. Here are a few indicators in case you fail to properly understand what’s going on in your life.
1. You’re not happy
Sometimes, you’re just not happy. You will know if you’re happy or not when you start to get comfortable with the relationship. You will learn things about your partner, some unattractive, that you didn’t know, and this will help you gauge your happiness. The basic question is, “Are you happy enough to love them through their imperfections?”
2. More bad than good
If you can’t find a solution to your relationship problems, then it could be irreconcilable. This means that your good times are less than your bad ones or you cannot agree on some important issues. This also applies to the same problem resurfacing in different ways and always causing new problems.
Although you may love each other, you might not have the same opinion on more than one issue. Hence, irreconcilable.
3. The answers in the future
Here’s a useful way to tell if it’s time to learn how to break up with someone you love. Take a look at the future. Do you see marriage or the end of the relationship? Yes, some people would rather just cohabitate and that’s fine too. The question is, which future do you see the most?
If you cannot see yourself with this person in the future, then why are you still with them? Think long and hard about this.
4. No intimacy
I will just be frank with you. If you no longer desire physical intimacy with your partner, then you’re definitely on the road to a breakup. Things can be rekindled by doing special activities, but if this still doesn’t work, it might be near the end of the relationship.
No one should dread sex with their partner. This is an integral part of intimacy.
What do you think?
Basically, it’s up to you. Although these are good indicators, only you know when the time has come. Just remember, doing the right thing isn’t always the easiest thing to do, but staying in the wrong relationship can ruin your future.
Make a wise and well-thought-out decision and then be brave. Whatever you choose to do, do it with confidence and kindness.
By Sherrie H.