In this article, we will help you understand some of the qualities of good friends you should be looking for in people around you.
This way, you will be sure that you are surrounded by true friends.
‘You can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends’ is a phrase I’m sure we are all familiar with. And it ultimately is completely true. Our family is thrust upon us as soon as we are thrust upon the world. We inherit our family. Friends are different. We develop friendships with people based on shared interests and shared experiences.
How to make sure that we have good friends around us
Have you ever thought about some of the people you are friends with and wondered ‘Why am I friends with them?‘. Perhaps you have been burned by someone in the past, someone you thought was a good friend, maybe even your best friend.
It hurts like hell, often the pain we suffer because of what friends do to us hurts more than what our partners and relatives do to upset us.
Often people change over time. However, many others show signs of their true nature’s way before they ever hurt us, but we are just oblivious to it or overlook it because they are our friend after all. If you have struggled to make good friends in the past, it could be that you are not looking in the right places or not looking for the right qualities.
In the following post, we will help you understand some of the qualities you should be looking for in people that are the hallmarks of a good friend.
For many people, the quality of trust in a relationship, whether it’s a friendly one, romantic one or even professional one is a deal breaker. And it’s true, once trust is broken it can often be hard to pick up the pieces and get back to the way things were before.
If you look to make friends with people who are known for being trustworthy, you will have a good friend for life that you can always rely on. Good friends are there in the good times AND the bad, so you want someone who you can trust.
Whether it’s to keep something embarrassing to themselves or just so you know you can rely on them.
If a person is trustworthy, they are likely, to be honest too. The two qualities go hand in hand and complement each other. A deep personal connection with another person or other people can only be established if you are going to be completely honest with one another.
Sometimes the truth is not the easiest thing to hear, but it’s usually the thing we NEED to hear.
Great listening skills are sometimes hard to find in other people, which makes them all the more valuable. Often people make the mistake of confusing ‘hearing‘ for ‘listening‘. Hearing is merely a physical reaction, listening is an action – something you do.
Find and make friends with people who will let you have your voice and will not shoot you down for saying something, even if it’s something difficult to say or interrupt you and start yammering on about their own stuff.
We are all imperfect and therefore, as strong as a bond with our friends may be, we all do things to upset or hurt one another. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a massive thing or a small and trivial thing. However, people sometimes throw friendships away because they find forgiveness to hard a thing to give.
While you are obviously not looking to get away with things, it is important to make friends with people who understand that forgiveness is not a weakness.
Remember when we said friends are there for the good things and the bad? This is why you should look for people who are supportive by nature. It is really easy to get on with someone and do things with them when they are happy and everything is going well.
It takes real love and heart to stick with someone through the rougher parts of their life. If you find people who will support you when the chips are down and celebrate when you are winning at life, you have some amazing friends – hold on to them.
Again as we are all imperfect, there will be things we do in life that go south. We make mistakes and make bad decisions. Friends are there to call us on our still mistakes, and that is a good and healthy thing. However, what good friends should never do is judge you.
They may not think you made a good decision and may tell you how much of an idiot you are, but they won’t stop being your friend because of the mistake or bad decision. Good friends are non-judgemental or should be.
Now respect is an interesting thing because respect is not given for no reason, it’s earned. No-one is suggesting that even the tightest of friends will always see eye to each other or agree on every single thing in life.
What we are suggesting is though, if you are looking for people you want to have strong friendships with, you need people in your life that respect your ideas, your thoughts and your opinions. And friends that respect you for who you are.
By Valerie S.