Forging a deep connection starts with deep conversations, which require good conversation starters.
Good conversation starters are hard to find. When developing a relationship, creating a deep connection can feel difficult. This is especially true when we don’t know the other person very well as we can feel a little awkward and uncomfortable.
First dates can be filled with self-conscious small talk and awkward silences. The best way to remedy this is to be prepared with a few good conversation starters that will help you build a deeper, lasting connection and avoid the awkwardness.
The following are five good conversation starters that will help you form a deep connection with a date or friends to avoid uncomfortable silences. These questions are proven to increase intimacy between partners as they are personal without being invasive.
What famous person, alive today or from history, would you most like to have a drink with, and why?
A first date can feel a little awkward sometimes, especially when you don’t know your partner very well. Starting with a funny question can open make things much more comfortable, especially on a first date. Talking about our preferences can help us to understand our partners, which is an important step that many tend to overlook.
When we understand each other’s preferences, we can be more accommodating and considerate of what our partners want or need. Other good conversation starters might be the activities they enjoy the most, their favorite film, or TV show.
Although they may seem insignificant, these conversations are valuable in relationships and help to bring us closer together.
What did you want to be when you grew up?
When we get nostalgic, we start to feel appreciation for the things we enjoyed when we were young. When we share memories from childhood, we show our vulnerabilities and begin to feel an intimate connection to one another.
Recounting and sharing moments from our childhood increases social connectedness. This can make partners more supportive of each another, and feel better support from the other. Feeling supported helps to create a deep bond between you and your partner, from such simple but good conversation starters.
Other examples of good conversation starters might be a favorite childhood memory or their favorite family tradition.
What are the five top things on your bucket list?
Talking about the things that we would always like to do is a great way to connect with one another. Finding common ground in our goals help us to find what we have in common and the things we might like to do together.
Thinking about traveling and doing things together helps us to feel more connected to one another and think about the future we might have with our partners. By discussing our preferences, we build a friendly relationship with a potential partner as well as a romantic one.
Building a friendship with our partners helps to build a strong foundation for the relationship and a deep connection between two people. Other good conversation starters might be the top three places we’d like to travel or the things we have always wanted to do.
What is your ideal job?
These kinds of questions are a combination of aspirations, vulnerability, and preferences, helping us to understand the important goals of our partners. We may have an ideal job but be a little embarrassed to tell people if it’s something we see as unachievable.
When we talk about our most unrealistic goals, we open ourselves up to being vulnerable whilst also feeling supported by the other person. Make sure you maintain eye contact and open body language so the other person feels comfortable sharing with you.
Inspiring this kind of connection of sharing and openness can help communication in the future. Another example is what they might do with all the money in the world.
What is your most important goal?
Similarly to an ideal job, talking about our future goals and aspirations can actually spark the pleasure centers in our brain. This increases the production of oxytocin, A.K.A. the ‘love hormone’. When we discuss our aspirations with another, this hormone helps us to build stronger bonds and deeper connections.
Oxytocin can also make us more relaxed with one another. It reduces the stress and nerves we may feel early on in a relationship. When we feel more comfortable around each other, we are more likely to be open and honest about our pasts and our feelings. All of this helps to develop much deeper bonds and stronger relationships.
More examples might be an ideal business they would like to run.
Building deep connections helps to build strong relationships. Knowing some good conversation starters can help to ease us into new relationships by removing the pressure. When we feel more comfortable, we avoid the awkward silences which plague first dates. With less pressure, comfortability and openness grow.
By Francesca F.