If your friend is guilty of any of the below, then a friendship breakup is really necessary for your own mental health and personal development.
There are some friendships we form, that are meant to and do last forever. Whether they are forged in school, even earlier or in college or when you start your working life. However, there are some that have a time limit. After all, it would be pretty foolish to expect everyone we meet and befriend to stay in our lives forever and ever. Moreover, in some instances, a friendship breakup is absolutely necessary for your own mental health.
Hanging out with the wrong people is not healthy. As some friends that were good for you (or you thought were good for you) at certain periods of your life, that is not when you are older and maturer.
A friendship breakup can be a hard thing to contemplate going through with. However, as we get to choose who we want in our lives and who we don’t, you may need to make the choice to end a friendship.
But when is a friendship breakup better than hanging out with a wrong person?
In the following post, we will look at some of the most common instances when a friendship breakup is not just a good idea but necessary.
1. The Friendship Has Become One-Sided
It’s just not fun, we are sure you’ll agree, to put effort into a relationship with a friend, when you don’t feel like they are doing the same in return. When a friendship starts to feel less balanced than it was in the past, it may be time to get out.
Why waste so much of your precious time and effort on someone who doesn’t reciprocate?
2. Negatives Far Outweigh the Positives
While it is normal for friendships to have issues from time to time, it shouldn’t be a regular occurrence. If you feel as most times you get together with your friend that you argue, fall out or just disagree – it may be time to sever ties.
3. They Don’t Up-build You
The friends we choose to have in our lives should be individuals that help us to feel good about ourselves, not make us feel worse. This does not mean they should mince their words – far from it.
But, if you find that time with your friend makes you come away feeling low and bad about yourself, why are you spending time with them?
4. Competition And Jealousy Are Commonplace
Following on from the above, it’s worth highlighting that friendships should be encouraging and supportive, not antagonistic or polarising.
A bit of friendly rivalry is not a bad thing, but if you are constantly trying to outdo each other, or you feel as if your friend is – this is a problem. A real friend shouldn’t expect you to prove yourself to them.
5. They Don’t Contribute To Your Life Much At All
This is a serious point and one that really shouldn’t be overlooked. If there is someone that wants to be in your life, they need to contribute in some way to your life. You wouldn’t expect dinner guests to come to a meal at your home without bringing a bottle of something nice or at least a dessert.
Likewise, a friend should add something to your life.
It may be that they make you laugh, or they are a good listener or they seem to know – without fail – exactly what the right thing is to say and do. If you have a friend that is not bringing anything to your relationship and has no redeeming qualities, it might be time to give them the heave-ho.
6. They Lie To You Or Steal From You
One of the foundations of any good relationship in life is trust. When you allow someone in your life as a friend, you give them your heart and your trust and if they value your friendship, they will value your heart and trust.
If you have a friend that you have caught out in a lie on more than one occasion, you need to get rid of them because if you can’t take them at their word and trust them – why would you risk so much?
If they are actually not just lying to you, but, stealing from you – there are no excuses for this kind of behavior. Friendships are based on trust and respect and a friend that steals from you is not trustworthy, nor are they doing anything to earn your respect.
Even if you were once fast and firm friends with someone, if they are guilty of any of the above, then are they really being a good friend?
A friendship breakup is sometimes like getting rid of the deadwood that is holding you back and bringing you down. Make more space in your life for people that can enrich it, offer you support, kindness and love!
By Valerie S.