Do your friends or people in your circle mistreat you?
In this article, you will learn why this happens and how to stop anyone from doing it.
Friendships are always very different and unique. We all have friends! Some of us have a lot of them; some of us have only a few, but human interactions and building connections are in our nature – after all, we are very sociable animals.
So, who are our friends and why does it happen that sometimes the closest people to us don’t treat us nicely? Do we deserve it? Does it mean that our friends are bad people? Are we bad people ourselves?
All the frustration, indignation and resentment we are experiencing because of difficult relationships often drive us insane with questions… So, what can the reasons actually be?
1. People treat us the way we treat ourselves.
If we do not respect ourselves, if we think badly of ourselves if we believe that we are worthless… guess what, so will other people! If you lack confidence and self-esteem, you will not be able to convince others that you actually deserve to be respected.
We are treated based upon how we believe we deserve to be treated. By allowing others to determine who we are or what we aren’t, we are giving away our power to those who have no business even possessing an ounce of it.
By allowing others to mistreat us and put us down, we are silently accepting false perceptions. And by resigning ourselves into believing life is hard, difficult, and cruel, we are only limiting ourselves by internally dying day by day rather than expanding and living through rejuvenation. It’s all about our own choices.
2. We are desperate for friends.
We put up with wrong people because we are scared to stay all alone. We tolerate people who treat us like dirt because we think that bad friends are better than no friends. This is pure nonsense because people who treat us like dirt can’t be our friends in the first place!
We can’t build strong friendships if we allow bad relationships into the mix.
You won’t feel better about life by having more people who aren’t good for you around. In fact, you’ll end up feeling lonelier. When they cross our boundaries and mistreat us for no reason, we must kindly but firmly bring it up and let them know it is not acceptable.
3. We always give people the benefit of the doubt. Too much.
All of us have bad days from time to time, so it can be difficult to finally realize when a friend you’ve trusted just isn’t your friend. We tend to explain our friends’ words and actions by thinking “It’s not his/her fault… All the rubbish that is happening in his/her life simply isn’t making it easy”. And sometimes it can be true.
However, a lot of people might be just taking advantage of our kind nature. If we are always kind, understanding and forgiving, people around us tend to exploit us and not take our feelings into consideration. That’s why setting boundaries are extremely important. We have to let them know that it is not OK to do this.
4. We want to prove them wrong.
When our friends and acquaintances mistreat us, we still keep in touch and act nicely to show that we are actually good. To prove ourselves. To make them understand that we are better than they think. To make them love us.
Well, this is not the way! By constantly forgiving people who do not deserve to be forgiven; by doing nice things for those who treat us like rubbish, we are not going to make them like us better.
We cannot keep putting other people’s desires above our own for the sake of them realizing one day that we are actually ‘nice’. We have to understand our value in this world.
5. We are afraid of conflicts.
Confrontation is always unpleasant, but hiding from conflicts by putting up with those who do not treat us right is not an option. Standing your ground and not letting others hurt and mistreat us is the only way to earn respect.
Back to point 1: “People treat us the way we treat ourselves”. If we are not prepared to defend our dignity, we cannot complain when our friends do not respect it either.
By Anastasia T.