There are some brutally honest truths you should know about other people, or order to have a healthy relationship.
I believe I’ve been in my fair share of relationships, be it intimate relationships, friendships or even family situations. I can tell you right now, it’s not what it looks like in the movies, magazines or even what you see on the streets. There is a raw truth which lies beneath all that laughter, cuddling and hugging that you admire so much. In fact, the brutally honest truth is, relationships with others can be ugly, hideous even.
The knight on the white horse
As far as intimate relationships go, being brutally honest can save you loads of time on your daydreaming. Remember the story about the hero, the knight, or whatever your culture told you when you were a little girl? Think about the things you read in fairy tale books about princes and princesses, living a “Happily ever after” life, yeah, that’s not as true. That was just something to get you to sleep at night. If I am being brutally honest with you, that knight is just a boy dressed In tinfoil and the girl is a drama queen. Do you get my drift?
And no it’s not all bad, there are so many things you gain from being in a relationship with others, like learning what unconditional love is and being able to live with another individual. Those things are important and show you how to truly care for each other.
The hard facts
But back to what I was saying, there are brutally honest truths, 8 of them to be exact. You will always want to think about these things before you dive into a relationship with anybody, even before you choose your best friend. I don’t care how much you love someone, there is no such thing as perfection.
True love is rare
Now, I do believe in love. I just wanted to make that clear before continuing. However, there are many times when other feelings look a lot like love but aren’t. Sometimes, and I hate to burst your bubble, other people will use you. They will find your life to be worthy of gossip and will want to be around you just to have something to talk about. Be careful and watch for signs of these types of people.
People have priorities/ no one is too busy
Never fall for the message that says, “I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I was busy.” First of all, it doesn’t take that long to send a message to someone you love. It’s all about priorities and what they rather are doing at the moment. Now, it is possible that they forget, but many times people just choose whether to respond or call. Don’t be fooled by this and try not to get your expectations too high. Lofty expectations almost always fail.
Everyone has a bad side
Never be fooled by the first impression or even the impression you’ve gained after a few months. Everyone is different than what they display to you. The thing is, human beings cannot help but show the best part of themselves when they want something. I think it’s an instinct. Be warned, there are always dark sides and things you don’t know which may stay hidden for years, even. Remember, it’s just about what you’re willing to live with that’s important. And that’s the brutally honest truth.
You can’t please everyone
No matter how hard you try, you will never be able to make all people happy all the time. It’s just impossible. Be realistic. If you can manage to be fair and live with a clear conscious, then this is good enough. Get it through your head right now, you cannot please all your friends and loved ones at all times!
Everyone has a different perspective
Just because you believe one way doesn’t mean your friends should think in the same manner. Everyone has their own mind and they think from certain levels. I don’t mean higher or lower levels, what I’m saying is that we all have different views on reality and how we should act and react toward things that happen. Try not to be judgmental when you notice that you are different from your lover or friend. This is just one of those things that you will have to accept.
You are responsible for your own happiness
No one but you is responsible for making you happy. No matter how much you have in common or how wonderful you are treated by another, there will be times when they cannot make you happy. That’s because this is not their job! Guess what!? You can make yourself happy all alone, and then when you are happy, you can share this with others, who also make their own happiness. This is what’s called a “healthy relationship”.
It’s okay to get mad. It’s okay to fight
Things don’t always have to be harmonious in your relationship. As mentioned above, people have varied perspectives and this is bound to cause disagreements. It’s the way you fight that matters. Healthy disagreements shouldn’t cause you to throw insults or get physically abusive. If this happens, you have crossed a line in your relationship with others. As long as you can communicate your differences, you will be fine.
Ultimately, it’s all about “#1”
One of the most brutally honest truths about relationships is that you will always come first. No matter how considerate you are, or how much you sacrifice for your friends, you will do things with your safety in mind, or your happiness at the forefront. You know what, it’s okay. If you cannot take care of yourself, you will not be able to be as effective in your endeavor towards others. It sounds harsh, but not so much, if you think about it from…..another perspective. 😉
Let’s be honest, shall we? Relationships with other people take hard work!
I don’t have many friends, I will admit that. Maybe it’s because of my hard exterior and strange personality. One thing is for certain, I am learning these brutally honest truths as I go. In my intimate relationship, I am utilizing these truths to somehow make sense of it all. Don’t let these things get you down. If you take these truths and apply them to your life, you will see things change for the better, and be able to have healthier expectations for your future relationships.
Hope this helps.
By Sherrie S.