There are some annoying things some people do that push others away.
While some people effortlessly make friends left and right, others have a more difficult time.
Are you one of those people who wonder why they can’t seem to keep a friend? It’s possible you have certain traits which others find annoying. Subtle actions may be producing negative tension between you and your friends, without you even realizing it!
Here are 8 questions you should ask yourself, along with some tips on reversing negative vibes and stop doing these annoying things.
1. Are You Associated With Drama?
If you are known for starting arguments, whether you mean to or not, other people are going to try and avoid you. Most people like to surround themselves around others who are positive and may find you to be overwhelming if you’re constantly creating tension. If you often find your temper rising, try leaving the situation temporarily and returning when you feel calmer and happier.
If you constantly think of yourself before others, it will become pretty obvious to the people around you. If you are always the first person to grab the last cookie, your friends are sure to notice. It may sound hard but practice putting your friends’ needs before your own. If you are with a couple of friends on the subway and a seat opens up, don’t automatically assume it’s yours. Ask your friends if one of them would like to sit down first and they will appreciate it more than you know.
3. Are you Flakey?
Sure, every once in a while you have to cancel plans due to an emergency or unexpected work meeting. It’s when you cancel plans fifty percent of the time that people start to notice and judge you negatively for it. If you are always flaking out of plans with flimsy excuses, your friends won’t be able to trust your word. This may lead to your friends losing interest in you or just giving up on you as they assume it’s not worth making plans anymore.
4. Or Even Worse, Are You Fake?
Most people get frustrated with a friend who’s a flake, but having a friend who’s a fake is even worse. One of the most important elements of friendship is trust. If you have to constantly wonder whether your friendship is built primarily on white lies, it’s not much of a true friendship at all. Of course, you shouldn’t be downright mean, don’t tell your friend that he or she has a repulsive T-shirt just because it’s really what you think. At the same time, don’t go out of your way to say how much you love something when you really don’t. If you are always giving friends compliments to their faces and then talking smack behind their backs, word will get around eventually and no one will appreciate that.
5. Are You Too Competitive?
A little competitive spirit is always essential for game and sports, however, there is definitely a limit. If you are a sore loser or the type of winner who rubs victories in others’ faces, your friends will become agitated by you. If you are always competing with a friend, feelings may end up getting hurt even though you don’t mean for them too. Originally playful shenanigans can quickly turn into heated disputes and if this happens often, your friends will find you too stressful to hang out with.
6. Are You Too High-Maintenance?
Nobody likes to have a high-maintenance friend because it’s just too much work. Why should someone have to always make sure that everything is up to your standards, you’re not the queen of England after all! If you catch yourself complaining all the time, try to reduce this behavior as it’s one of the most annoying things out there. Next time you feel yourself about to complain, take a deep breath and count to ten before saying anything. Chances are you’ll find something more productive to say after those ten seconds.
7. Are You Just Plain Rude?
This should go without saying, but you should always treat others how you’d like to be treated. Would you like to spend time with people who are rude to you? Probably not. If you are constantly saying mean things or shoving people who are in your way, no one will want to be your friend. Practice the art of being polite to others and friendship will surely follow.
8. Are You A Debbie-Downer
It’s not necessarily your fault when you have a negative attitude, however, it’s in your best interest to do whatever you can to change it. We all know that life’s not fair, but if you constantly point that fact out, your friends will get sick of hearing it…because they already know! Everyone has to deal with their own crummy experiences and nobody wants to hear about yours ALL THE TIME. Of course, it’s normal to confide in a friend when something bad happens. However, it’s when you talk about your problems or other negativities daily that friends begin to lose interest.
Are there any other annoying things that push people away? Share them with us in the comments below.
By Lauren G.
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