Breaking up is usually extremely difficult and hurtful. However, there are many life lessons to be learned when this happens.
Listen, I’ve had my fair share of breaking up experiences. I have been dumped and I have also dumped others as well. Let me tell you, neither one was all that fun. Someone will always be hurt in a way that they will never forget. But you know what, every time this happens, you learn something new.
An imperfect union
Relationships are never perfect, as those who are partners in this union are also imperfect. In every relationship, there will be issues that arise. Maybe in the first year, there will be a honeymoon stage, but after that, look out! Then there are those unions which just don’t last. Painful events sometimes destroy relationships.
When the relationship is over, you can look back and see what went wrong. You can gather information with new eyes, now that the pressure to conform to one another is gone.
Take a look at these 7 lessons from breaking up. These lessons with hurt, but they will teach you many things about yourself and about life.
1. Never let anyone steal your pride.
Although the feelings of love are strong, you should never let anyone bully or belittle you in a relationship. Physical and emotional abuse should be a good reason to end a union because those things are unhealthy. You’re not a piece of meat, you are a person.
Your pride matters and you should never stand for any sort of humiliation or abuse from your partner. You will understand this when the relationship ends, although, during the duration of the union, you may let emotions take over rational thinking. Breaking up can help you come to your senses.
2. You will learn both good and bad things about yourself.
There are things that happen during relationships that cause you to temporarily act out of character. I am learning this myself as I grow. Eventually, you will do something that just doesn’t make sense, and why? Because you are imperfect and life can be difficult at times.
As you make mistakes, you will learn things about yourself that you didn’t know. Some of these things will be quite ugly, while some may be surprisingly positive. Either way, when the relationship ends, you will be able to see things that happened much clearer than during the ordeal. It’s unfortunate to end a union, but it has its ways of revealing important things.
3. No one is exactly what you think they are.
During your first few months of a relationship, you see your partner through “rose colored glasses”. This means you see so much of the good in them and fail to see the negative aspects. In many cases, they hide the bad side well. As the relationship continues, more and more negative traits begin to surface and you may feel cheated.
First of all, this is normal. It happens in every single relationship and it prompts you to want to change the other person, but don’t. The truth is, no one is ever what they appear to be at first. Most people are deeply flawed and must be taken for who they are and not the facade you encountered during the first few months of the relationship. When you break up, you will learn this fact and be able to remember this for the next encounter.
4. “The one” may not exist.
I won’t tell you that soulmates aren’t real. I don’t know that for a fact, but what I do know is that those initial feelings of romance will fade. Yes, love exists, but that perfect union that you dream about may not be as real as you want it to be. Instead, relationships take loads of work.
If the relationship ends, you will learn that even the one you thought was “the one” was not. Even that heightened state of romance faded and you weren’t able to keep the union together. Learn from this and have more realistic expectations of your mate on the next go around.
5. Accept Rejection.
No matter how hard you try, sometimes you will still be rejected. Some people do not want you, and you must accept this fact to move on. At the point of breakup, you will be forced to accept this fact quickly and it will hurt really bad.
You have to come to a point where you accept the differences between you and your partner which can lead to a division. Sometimes the values and morals between the two of you will be different and some of them cannot be compromised. There comes a time when you have to stop trying and move on. Breakups have a way of convincing you of this fact.
6. Learn from the hard lessons.
There are so many lessons to be learned from relationships. If you are meeting people in the same places and always breaking up, you might need to frequent new places for a change. If you are making the same mistakes in every relationship that leads to a breakup, then maybe you need to examine what you want out of a partner.
Stop doing the same things and expecting a different result. You will only have heartache over and over. Use your negative experiences to change the way you see things and surely you can give the next relationship a fighting chance!
7. Learn to get over the pain and go on.
Breakups hurt and they are also frightening, but never let this hold you back from your future happiness. There is happiness out there if you just keep trying. Learning from lessons will be the help you need to overcome this pain, as hard as it may be.
Then there was hope
Breaking up is not easy, but it has its positive points. The key is to learn from these failures and pursue a life worthy of your love and devotion. To become better, you must always keep learning. Trust me, you will be fine and life will go on.
By Sherrie H.