In a world where everyone agrees with your thoughts, motives, and actions, some would say we would have a much better world indeed.
However, we are not alone in this world, so we have all come to understand that sometimes people will just not see things in the way that we do. This fact becomes more apparent the longer you are in a relationship with someone. In today’s society, many people are taught just to keep their mouth shut and go with the flow! In a relationship, this leads to passive-aggressive behavior that is toxic to a long-lasting agreement. So, what do healthy couples who have been together for years, even decades, have in common? They argue. However, the catch is, they argue with a few simple guidelines.
Own Up To Your Mistakes
Each and every one of us makes mistakes. We are by no means perfect, and you should be okay with that. When it comes to being in a relationship, we are sometimes placed into situations we normally wouldn’t experience if we were on our own. Typically, this is fine and gives the relationship some excitement, but it can also get us into trouble. If you find that you were the one who made the mistake, own up to it, admit it and be honest. If your partner made the mistake, make an effort to understand that the person might not have known what to do in that given situation.
Clearly Express Your Feelings
While no gender shall be specifically named, in an argument when your partner asks you to explain how their actions made you feel, or why you are so upset, explain it to them! Using responses like “Well, you should know” or “never mind” will not solve the issue, and will, in fact, make it worse. Are you looking to stick through with your partner? Then you have to communicate why you feel the way you do about a situation. No one is a mind reader, and, therefore, the little ticks that set you off cannot be predicted. Be as understanding and open as you can.
One key point in an argument is to remain respectful of each other’s boundaries and limits. While you may be feeling hot headed, the words you say in the heat of an argument will cut deeper than you can ever imagine. Never feed off of insecurities, never stoop to name calling, quit the blame game, and always know when to walk away. There are times where neither of you will be able to remain level headed. At that time, calmly announce that you are stepping right outside for some air and calming down.
Being in a relationship is inherently difficult. You are bringing together two different personalities, perspectives, and experiences – all under one roof. In itself, you are setting up for some struggles as you learn each other’s style, motives, and what makes them tick.
It is with these arguments, however, that one truly gets to know their partner on a deeper level. Sometimes an argument can bring to light a very good quality in your partner, one worth fighting for, and something worth sticking through countless more arguments.
So, bottom line, let it out, it is healthy and good for your relationship. Just remember these three basic rules!
By Brittany G.