the Quiet One in Your Life

The quiet one in a relationship may be more emotionally strong than you can imagine.

Are you one of those people who complains a lot or voices your emotion out loud?

Do you interject without meaning to? Do you think a lot about yourself and how a situation is affecting you?

All of those things are OK, but have you ever wondered how your partner, the quiet one in the relationship, feels about issues that face both of you?

A lot of men and women tend to stay strong and silent in front of their partner, but it doesn’t mean they aren’t worried, scared and frightened just like you. If you behave in a certain way you can potentially alienate them and how they feel.

In such cases, a lot of people choose not to vocalize their thoughts and feelings and instead internalize them. Many “strong, silent types” pull the information together inside to come up with a solution – whether it be about material or emotional issues you as a couple might be facing.

Most often it will be the man in the relationship who bottles up a lot of his feelings, although it certainly isn’t exclusive to men. In most relationships, the two participants usually take on different roles emotionally, but if one person is overly vocal, it can block the emotional outlets of the quiet one.

The difficulty is keeping the communication strong between you.

Many strong, silent types struggle to express their feelings, but it might not be because they don’t want to, it could be because you are dominating the emotional space in your relationship. Don’t stop doing what you are doing completely, but do take some time to recognize the pain and fears of your other half.

Utilize a little bit of selflessness to put yourself in your partner’s shoes and appreciate his/her feelings or emotions.

Ask questions of the person that are open and easy to answer, instead of complaining and setting a precedent for your feelings on the subject. It could be from the quite simple to more complex daily struggles, like money or jobs. Start to actively take notice of his/her feelings and pay more attention.

Set aside time to really listen, they may not want to open up now about emotional issues, but by letting them know that they can and that you won’t dominate the conversation, they may choose to someday.

Communication is the core stabilizing factor in every relationship and it’s important to work to keep that as strong as possible, no matter how hard it may seem and how silent they may seem.

Never forget that while they may be quieter than you – they have feelings, too!

By Charlotte H.