How long one takes to let go of a relationship tells a lot about what kind of person they are.
We all have baggage that consists of previous relationships, regrets, and epic fails.
But instead of running from someone who has obviously been seriously involved with their ex, knowing about previous relationships and break-ups of the person you like can tell you a lot about their personality and what kind of commitment you can expect from their side.
There are two kinds of major mistakes people do when they try to let go of a relationship: fall into a new compensative liaison right away to dull the pain with new emotions and be convinced that you will never meet anyone as good as your ex. In order not to make these mistakes, love counselors advise people to take time finding themselves and seeking closure before starting to date again.
However, how much time should one take to let go of a relationship? Many will say that it’s better to take it slow.
Here’s why people who don’t rush to get back on the dating market again are much better partners than those who just fall in and out of love.
1. They value their own and other people’s time
The longer it takes to let go of a relationship, the more significant it was. Which means that it touched upon your soul and having experienced that now you know better to seek something genuine and real, instead of a short-term fling.
If the previous relationship touched upon your perspective partner’s soul, most likely it also means that he or she now knows better what they want from a relationship and their partner, which means your relationship match is already on a better-off start.
2. They know how to build strong emotional connections
Relationships are subject to great emotional turmoil and people who have gone through really meaningful ones know how to control their own feelings and expectations. This is a kind of trait you want your serious partner you have.
3. They are truly open to new relationships
There’s a really fascinating research that says that half of the couples get back together again after a break-up. The more time has passed after the person you like has split up with their ex, the less likely they are to reassess the situation and fall back in love again.
4. They don’t fear intimacy and are prone to unhealthy attractions
People who have experienced something real and went through all the stages of letting go will not settle for anything less than real love and are actively seeking it. They won’t act out or get scared of their feelings and run away.
5. They know how to be grateful
No matter the reason for the break-up, being able to appreciate the best parts of past relationships and cherish good moments is a sign of a truly mature soul. But this deep appreciation comes only after a long thinking and self-analysis.
When you meet the person who took a while to get over their past relationship, you can be sure that they will treat you right and respect your feelings.
6. They have experience in building strong relationships
Having been involved with someone for quite a bit of time means that the participants of this relationship mastered the art of laying the foundation for strong connections: they know when to take the lead and when to be led, they have mastered respect and understanding to perfection.
7. They know that dating isn’t a romantic movie
People who have been in a long-term relationship know that in real life not everything is as pinky and trouble-free as shown in romantic dramas. And you shouldn’t have to worry about disappointing them with your sleepy morning look or occasional nervous breakdown.
8. They know the price of a good relationship
Having endured loss, people are more likely to cherish the next thing they will build investing all their experience, knowledge and feelings into. They are willing to try to achieve something great without fear of fail because they have already made an honest attempt and truly got over the pain, focusing on the bright sides of the past relationship.
9. They are honest about their problems and feelings
Let’s be honest – most of us take a long time to forget the person we once really loved, but not everyone is brave enough to admit it. Having the courage to talk openly about previous love engagements means that the person has truly moved on and is sincere about what he/she feels about you.
10. They know how to have fun
Reconnecting with hobbies and interests is a major part of getting over a break-up process and you can be sure that the person who has spent a lot of time on it has a lot of interesting things to tell. So you won’t be bored going out on a date with him/her.
Many of us are afraid to stay on the love stand-by mode for too long: we do our best to avoid being pathetic and force ourselves to open up again as soon as possible. But looking deep inside we know that people who take the time to get over their relationships are actually mature souls who invest themselves into their love contacts and sincerely care about their partners. Provided that the person in front of you has now got over their feelings, knowing how long it took them to do it is a good reason to give this person a try.
And how long does it usually take you to let go of a relationship and what do you consider a normal healing time? Don’t hesitate to share and discuss in the comments below.
Author Bio: Doris A. Palmeris as social psychologist and senior editor at Studyscanner. Having studied thousands of relationships and social interactions, she is happy to share her insights with wider audience.