Struggles Unemotional Women Understand

Is there something wrong with unemotional women?

A lot of unemotional people (especially unemotional women) go through life wondering why they are not more sensitive, emotional and  don’t feel as much as they ‘should’,  but for some this is totally normal.

It isn’t strange or a sign of not being well-adjusted — it is simply a different way of dealing with your feelings.

Some people, as psychologists are observing, find themselves in an extremely emotional tumult even in reaction to usual everyday events, while others remain undisturbed under the most trying of circumstances. This is normal.

For many of us, emotions are significant aspects of our lives. We may cry in the midst of sad moments, happy moments, and everything in between. We might also pour our feelings out to other people and expect others to do the same for us… However, some of us are completely the opposite.

Are unemotional women heartless? Are they cold? Do they not care about anything?

No. If a woman is not showing her emotions, it does not mean that she doesn’t care. It does not mean that YOU don’t care.

If you are struggling with any of the following aspects, do not beat yourself up thinking there’s something wrong with you!

There isn’t.

  • If you’ve been accused of being heartless because your first instinct when something serious happens isn’t an extremely emotional response; if tears are a rare thing for you, and you often internalize things until you can properly examine and understand them, those who have accused you obviously just don’t understand that there may be a different approach to life. You accept the fact that other people are emotional; they should accept the fact that some people aren’t.
  • If you always try to distance yourself from others when you are feeling upset and really struggle to open up to others, that is your right. It does help to talk to friends and family and share your feelings; however, for some of us, it does not work. Many unemotional women find comfort in being around others when something is bothering them, but if you just want to hide until you feel better, that is fine.
  • If deeply emotional proclamations of love and affection are something that sends you twitching, it does not mean that you are not capable of loving, it just means that for your words are not as important. Some of us prefer to show our affection through actions rather than flowery speeches.
  • If you are blunt with your loved ones, it is a really good thing! The people you care about deserve your honesty. And it is always incredibly important to have someone who will just tell you the truth under any circumstances, so well done!
  • If you have a hard time expressing yourself verbally to others, you have probably found other outlets. Drawing, painting, writing, crafting and other forms of creative arts, or physical activities that allow you to expel whatever internal energies you’re struggling with. It’s necessary to let the steam out, and whatever way of doing it suits you best, is your choice.
  • If you can relate to some guys saying that women are ‘crazy’, it’s fine. However, when you’re expressing an opinion and some chap tells you that ‘all women are crazy’ you realize how untrue the whole idea is! Because stereotypes do not work.
  • If bonding with others is very hard for you, it is Ok! A huge part of bonding is opening up to each other and discussing difficult emotions. If you are not the person to discuss your emotions and feelings with others, it might make it hard for you to form new friendships. On the other hand, it also means you treasure the friendships that you have!


Don’t forget, that Emotion is, to a certain extent, a physiological response which begins with the release of androgens into the blood stream, bathing the brain and nervous system and causing responses in the autonomic nervous system.  If the level of testosterone is low, they flow and slow down the responses. When those responses are slow, the brain has time to consider its conscious response.

That moment of control can allow the person to avoid an overreaction and even not react at all while others might be put into the throes of utter joy or fear or panic. So the lack of emotion can actually be explained scientifically!


By Anastasia T.