Are you that one emotionally detached person who at the same is affectionate?
Having two separate sides to your personality can be difficult.
Particularly when you’re an emotionally detached person, hard shell on the outside and secretly affectionate on the inside, with few special people.
Here are ten struggles only those people face:
1. People base your relationship on your level of PDA
People may assume that since you’re not all over your partner in public, that you aren’t that into them or that you’re never affectionate in private either. For emotionally detached/affectionate people, showing affection is something private that can be enjoyed without others seeing and for them, it has no reflection of the relationship whatsoever.
2. You like to sleep separately
Being emotionally detached and secretly affectionate can mean you like your cuddles, but you also like your own space, especially at bedtime. Sure, it’s nice to know the person you care for is next to you, but you just don’t want them to be too close to your personal space.
3. Seeing PDA tends to unsettle you
Sure, it can be cute when you see a loved-up couple sharing a quick moment together, but when it’s too much, it’s too much and you just can’t cope with it.
4. You’re not much of a hugger, especially with strangers
When it comes to saying bye to people, especially strangers, you’d rather walk away and wave behind you than hug them goodbye because that means having somebody in your personal space and most of the time, you’re just not okay with that.
5. Touchy-feely people make you feel uncomfortable
This one can come in many shapes and sizes. Whether it’s drunk friends, family parties or sometimes even strangers, people who are touchy-feely and get all up in your personal space make you feel way too uncomfortable. Family parties are the worst – everyone kissing you on your cheeks and giving familial hugs, it’s too much and it needs to stop!
6. Opening up to your partner can be hard
Whether they mean to or not, emotionally detached/affectionate people usually have a lot of walls up in new relationships. They may be entirely sure of their feelings, but may struggle to get them out, particularly when it comes to saying those three special words.
7. You’re very caring
When you care about someone, you really do care and when that person really needs you, you’re there no matter what. The distant side to you can completely disappear when a loved one is in need and they can often be shocked by your caring attitude.
8. You hate other people witnessing your social interactions
Whether it’s saying goodbye to your friend or welcoming a family member at the airport, you hate when other people watch you and your social interactions. Those are meant to be private and when other people are watching you, it can make you very uncomfortable and adds pressure that you already felt from having to deal with close personal interactions anyway!
9. You’re not sure how to act when somebody is upset
If somebody you don’t know that well gets upset over something small, the emotion can shock you and you don’t know how to act. This is very different to point number 7, which was about people you care about. This one has more to do with acquaintances and people who you may not know on a deeper level becoming emotional over something seemingly insignificant and you just don’t know how to handle it.
10. Your friends appreciate that you have your own way of showing love
Whether it’s friends, family or your partner, they know you may not show your love in a “conventional” way, so they have gotten used to your little acts of love and know to appreciate them.
Being emotionally detached but secretly affectionate can be hard and there are a lot of struggles that come with it. But if you open up your heart to those who earn it and who you truly care for, you won’t regret it.
Do you class yourself as an emotionally detached but affectionate person? Or do you have different types of ‘layers’ to your personality? Let us know in the comments!
By Christina L.