You might have seen the episode of Sex and the City where Miranda pretends to be an air steward at a speed-dating event instead of her real occupation as a lawyer because she thinks it’ll get her more dates.
But as smart, modern women do we really need to hide our professions from potential love interests? No! But smart women do have a harder time at dating because they won’t settle for anything less.
Reasons why dating is hard for smart women.
1. Alone time
A smart modern woman isn’t afraid of being alone and definitely, doesn’t want to settle for the sake of it. Smart women know if they settle with the wrong person, they will resent them in the future and this may cause the relationship to break down. They know they don’t need to settle and being alone is ok.
2. Strong minded
Everyone, man or woman has a checklist of what they would ideally like in a partner. A smart woman’s checklist tends to be longer or more specific. This just shows they know themselves and they know what they can and can’t do without in a life partner.
The tradition of getting married and leaving your father’s home to go to your new husbands has pretty much faded from Western traditions. Women don’t need to rely on another person, they have thankfully realized they can live on their own, travel on their own and maintain their own lives without having to be with a man. This tradition does still exist in some parts of Europe, Turkey, and the Middle East.
4. More to life
Thankfully there are things just as important as long-term relationships, such as a thriving career, amazing friendships, hobbies and independent travel. It means that dating and being in a relationship can take a back seat, and that is more than ok.
5. Don’t want to waste time
Smart women learn from their mistakes. These women who don’t want to settle for less aren’t being fussy they are making a decision about their future. They also don’t want to waste their time with someone if it isn’t going to go somewhere, it’s not over-thinking or moving too fast, it’s being practical. Their potential partner needs to be on the same page, and don’t we all want that.
6. Attraction isn’t everything
Attraction is extremely important when you are in a relationship with someone, and arguably it’s the first thing you look for. But it’s not the be all and end all. Attraction is important but smart women know that attraction can change in time and that other things in life become more important. Intimacy over attraction is something that needs to remain in order for a relationship to last.
7. Strong woman can be intimidating
For some men, a woman with an opinion and a voice is a hard thing to deal with, and if that’s the case move as far away from these men as possible. It’s important to be with someone who listens to your voice and your opinion and either back you up, intelligently disagrees with you or helps you voice it where it matters. Be with someone who stands up with you, not above or below you.
8. Understand change is important
Smart women know that their partner and their relationship will change, and they aren’t afraid of it. In fact, smart women embrace change and want to be with someone who isn’t afraid of change, they want to be with someone who changes and grows with them.
9. Modern dating
Thankfully dating has changed for women, there is no longer the tradition of being passed from father to new husband. The concept of dating gives both sides total control of what they want and who they want. Dating now for women is the means to find someone to love, to share your ideas, dreams, interests and of course your future with and not just to settle down and make a home.
10. Trusting their heart with someone
Smart women know that their heart is a fragile thing, whilst they may be strong independent females, they also want to be loved and share their life with someone. They won’t give their heart out to just anyone, it’s a precious thing, and as such smart women are picky with who they let in.
This emergence of a smart woman, a woman who knows herself, knows what she wants and when she wants it and is not afraid of being alone until the right person comes along is a welcome thing. She’s the person we should look up to, we should covet and aspire to be, and she’s probably you, you just didn’t realize it yet.
By Holly W.