No matter the relationship, sometimes we tend to say things we regret. We ruin friendships, long term relationships, or we step off on the wrong foot for a budding relationship.
While every person is different, there are some very central ideas that you should never say or do if you are trying to make a relationship last.
1. Never Threaten to Leave
If you are saying that you will leave your partner, how do you expect them to want to stay with you? If you are making them feel insecure, they will go to a place where they feel safe. As human beings, we require stability for personal growth. When it comes to a relationship, you have to harbor those good feelings.
2. Stop Name Calling
The heat of the moment seems to take us all from time to time, but those words you call your partner stick. Not only are you making yourself look bad, but you also make them feel even worse. In a reasonable argument, name calling will only make the issue worse and reduce you to childish means.
3. Don’t Even Mention Family
It is wise to bite your tongue when it comes to family. Let them vent about them, your partner can call their relatives names, berate them and so on. If you do, that is an immediate cause for an argument. Think about it. In school, you always got defensive over your parents even if you hated them. Same thing. Now, you have your partner, the one you are spending your life with, crossing that line. It can be hard to deal with and better just to avoid badmouthing your in-laws in all circumstances.
4. Keeping A Tight Leash
While it may be cute to go everywhere with your partner, you need to make sure they have their own space too. Let them have a night with the guys, or a day out with the girls. We all have our own needs, and when you spend all your hours with your partner, it can cause them to tire of you, or just a lot of the things you do. If you think your partner is snapping at you, see if they would like some time alone with friends. After all, it is better to let them vent and come home happy and ready to discuss the issues.
5. Insulting Their Ways
I am going to overlook the relationships that have only been established for less than six months. After this time, you know the person. You know their routines, you know when they are hangry, and you know that they may not double flush the toilet when they need to. If these issues haven’t already been addressed, you cannot continue to yell at them. If they never cook, and it bothers you, try involving them. Avoid using negative connotations when using words like “never” and “always”. Try to keep it positive.
6. Not Acknowledging Their Emotions
Nothing is worse than allowing your walls to crumble, and you pour out your heart to your partner, and they brush you off or fight you on how you are feeling. Sometimes, you just need to allow them to cry and get their emotions out. In the meantime, be supportive and respectful. There will be times where your input is needed, and other times, a tight hug will do all the speaking that needs to be done.
Relationships are constant works in progress. Each couple has their own dynamic. Some are explosive; others are the tranquil duo. No matter where your relationship falls, know that it is something special, and with the commitment you can fix any situation you may be in.
By Brittany G.